The dictionary defines courting as: "special or devoted attention in order to win favor, affection" and true enough when couples first meet this is exactly what happens. Men are the most guilty of trying to win favor until the vows are exchanged and the wedding is consummated, but it goes both ways. Wives please listen up too.
Couples coming in for counseling seem to be more about a "one on one" competition than showing special or devoted attention to win favor. Both spouses will sit down in my office boasting of what they have done, on their own, with responsibilities around the house. They sit glaring at the other spouse as if this is some type of competition and I am supposed to be keeping score so I can declare a winner. Rather than trying to "win favor ", the spouses turn on each other and just try to win, at all cost!
Couples in unhealthy marriages go from courting to an unfriendly game of: "1 on 1". It's like a contest between two rivals that despise one another, but share the same home court. We have to keep courting and not take it to the court or the court house Here is the truth in the marriage tip for this week:
NEVER stop courting your spouse. Never stop showing special or devoted attention in order to win favor, affection. Hey guys marriage is not a 1 on 1, street ball, pick up game. The team is the 2 of you against all others. In marriage if you want to win, Jesus is the coach and the two of you must become one and meet the challenges of life as one, on one.
By the way that is a key to being biblical in marriage!
Andy Goode is a Biblical Counselor and Pastor in Hattiesburg, MS. This blog is about strengthening marriages and providing biblical direction for everyday issues and sometimes just about leadership in general.